Tag Archives: varactyls

Following The Freemakers: The Test

It’s Freemaker time again! And have we got a lot to talk about today! So that’s why I’m cutting short the usual long rambly opener so we can study The Test together 🙂 Hehe yeah if Star Wars were a school subject, I’d be acing it! Well maybe not acing it acing it, considering the times I misunderstand stuff and misspell stuff but hopefully I’d at least be getting a B+…
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode II, Episode VII, Rebels episodes Always Two There Are and Brothers Of The Broken Horn, and Freemakers episodes A Hero Discovered, Peril On Kashyyyk, Race On Tatooine, and The Test

I remember writing a while back that, though I was really enjoying the often-humorous daily tension of who Naare really was vs. who the Freemakers thought she was, I was kinda terrified as to what would happen when the other shoe would drop. Because the instant they found out who she really was… ooooh boy… things were gonna get really real. It was a beautiful day on The Wheel and it seemed nothing was out of the ordinary. Until Naare rang the doorbell and the Freemakers wouldn’t open it. Unfortunately when one wields a lightsaber doors don’t typically stay closed for long. I’d stupidly half-expected the Darksider-next-door to walk right into a surprise party… but as she catches the family in the process of packing their bags, it’s evident she no longer has the fan club she had last episode. Because ROWAN KNOWS. And wielding her red-blade, it’s clear his family knows too. “…the Jedi are all gone. Destroyed… by people like me.” I can’t express how much that line terrified me. THERE HAVE BEEN OTHERS SHE HAS DECEIVED. AND KILLED. Naare is basically an unofficial inquisitor. I’d theorized she might’ve been trained by inquisitors but I had no idea she’d done this before. All I can say is she is one very scary lady. *Shudders* But Rowan’s not alone in this fight, because he has Kordi and Zander (and technically R0-GR too but let’s be honest he’s not all that helpful right now). They’re somehow able to board the StarScavenger just in time, but their foe literally Force-grabs the ship. Comparably it took two inquisitors just to grab the considerably-smaller Phantom back on Rebels. Good night she’s powerful. I’m guessing that was a trick the higher-up Darksiders taught her. But Rowan also knows that it’s hard to keep your concentration when someone’s firing at you and mans the guns. Which it then occurred to me “oh right their ship does have a weapons system.” They hadn’t really shot anything I don’t think since the Imperial freighter in the pilot so for some reason I’d forgotten they could at all. I’m thinking just as a whole they don’t shoot at people if they feel they really don’t have to, which says something about this beautiful family’s morals. But yeah I think they have full license to shoot at Naare right now. But if you think for a second that that’s going to stop this Sith-y sort you’re dead wrong. ‘Cause now here comes the Eclipse fighter! And she’s enjoying blasting their ship wayyyy more than she should. After a few perilous turns, Naare sends them a holo, making a deal that I guarantee she’ll alter further. Zander calls no deal and charges the Eclipse dead-on, which masterfully tears her ship apart. Is it wrong I applauded? Naare challenges them, promising she’ll come after them if they don’t just destroy her now. They had the opportunity and all the reason in the galaxy to do so, but Zander simply sends the StarScavenger into hyperspace. Like I was saying, the Freemakers have more morals than most these days. And seeing Zan step up like this is really great. It obviously stung for him to realize his crush is an absolute monster, but when the lives of his brother and sister are in question, he knows where his true loyalties lie. But even then, after all she’s done, he still doesn’t take the shot. Blasting people is just not the way he rolls, even when certain people don’t deserve that kind of mercy. ZANDER FREEMAKER YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON. ‘Course, Roger knew all along she wasn’t trustworthy, just by his past experience with Jedi, “the bad guys of the Clone Wars”. Zander and Kordi set him straight by explaining a) Naare’s not a Jedi and b) technically battle droids were “the bad guys”. Roger is horrified and literally deletes the last few minutes from his memory so he never heard such a thing. OK so that answers a lot of questions about battle droids and free will. I guess it turns out they were just an extremely loyal bunch who never once thought that maybe they were doing the wrong thing, even when their superiors were killing innocents and being all-around jerks. Fascinating. But of all the Freemakers, Rowan’s the one hurting the most right now. Naare had made him feel special, making him believe he would be a great Jedi and hero. Now, he doesn’t believe he’s any of those things. I about started bawling there NUUUU DON’T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU CHILDDDD! But before Kordi can say anything their ship’s damage throws them out of hyperspace and they find themselves crash-landing. Zander does bring up a good point do starships actually have brakes? And if they don’t, why don’t they? But I found myself taking note how very green this planet is… and also oh look there’a castle right there. Wait are we on Takodana?? Otherwise known as one of my favorite new SW planets?? Oh right they were crash-landing. Well the good news is they managed to come to a stop without utterly destroying anything! “ZANDER FREEMAKER: SUPERSTAR PILOT GUY!” Pfff the looks Kordi and Rowan shot him I died laughing. “Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.” XD Oh right usually when someone gives you the good news there’s usually some bad news that follows. The bad news is, though they didn’t utterly destroy anything, they did slightly dent a ship and its crew was none too happy. And guess who its owner was? HONDO. OHNAKA. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH #OHNAKAFEVER IS REALLLLLLLL AGAIN. So I’m figuring things’ll go OK at this point, ’cause these days the old pirate’s a decent guy, right? Welp um… you see… back in Rebels, Hondo was on his own and didn’t have a crew or a ship or anything. So being a decent guy was kind of all he could do. Now as you might notice he has a ship and a crew and that crew has I think Grumgar on it so… Captain Ohnaka is back in business. And he’s got a pirate-y reputation to keep. Gotta say it was a really genius move to make Hondo more of the bad guy again after we’ve kinda gotten used to his nice-ish self in Rebels. But either way, I love him and I love seeing him finally make his way to the Lego SW side of things. Besides, we’ve got MAZ KANATA to keep him in check. Oooh my gracious goodness I’m sorry I haven’t really had a chance to talk about Maz much these days but she is so so so so awesome. The Pirate Queen ain’t takin’ any sass from one of her “subjects”! Especially not Captain Ohnaka here. Can I just say seeing Maz and Hondo in the same room is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever seen in my life? Seriously. Her bossladyness up against his roguish charm is a delight. As long as Hondo’s still making mischief in SWR, I’d sure like to see him run into Maz again while we’re at it. Anyway, so Maz insists Hondo work it out with the kids peacefully, and so he decides to give them a little job. But as he fills the Freemakers in, Rowan finds himself drawn to something in the castle… I admit I kinda forgot about the Kyber Saber crystals for a second and thought “Wow did she have Luke’s old ‘saber already? Wait a darn second only Rey’s allowed to find that!” by the end of the episode everything made sense though. Maz is curious what it is he was seeking. Though I wouldn’t put it past her that she might already know. I mean, she is Maz Kanata after all. She just knows things. Augh I need to watch The Force Awakens again hurry up and release already 3D Deluxe Blu-Ray!! So the job is simple: grab a few golden orbs from Takodana’s third moon and bring ’em back. Simple enough, if they can survive the trip, ’cause all they’ve got to get there is their little scavenger-scooper thing. And with three people and a droid in there, there’s not much elbow room. And for anyone who’s ever traveled in a packed vehicle (including myself), you know that the drive is half the battle.
As for Naare, she had no choice but to land the Eclipse back in the Freemakers’ hangar. And just as soon as she got there, Graballa and his gang show up. She absolutely don’t need their crud right now and sends that message via lightsaber-ing and Force-throwing. The Hutt’s completely fine with calling it quits at this point. But once Naare sees they both want the same thing, she sees a new opportunity. They fix her fighter and she’ll give them half the crystals. And they’ll even work together to find Rowan. Sounds like a plan! Sure it’s not a plan that will likely end well for Graballa, knowing how Naare works, but it’s still one plan more than anyone else has right now. Yeah this will most definitely a problem for our heroes. And whether you’ve seen how the season ends or not, you just know…
Yep that little scooper is not by any means a family vehicle. I’m not sure it should be even allowed for space travel with four individuals in it. Good thing that moon was right nearby ’cause then it probably would’ve gone a lot worse… and that’s saying something. So they find their sinkhole where the orbs were supposed to be, but they also found a large herd of VARACTYLS. Remember a few blogs ago when I briefly fangirled over the presence of a varactyl in the dejarik game but remembered varactyls aren’t a playable creature in any other dejarik game we’ve ever seen so I just assumed my fangirliness was making me see things? Well, first of all, I watched that episode again and found out I was right to begin with. Second of all AHAHAHHAHHAAAA LOOK AT ALL THE PURTY VARACTYLLLLLLS!!! And they’re so detailed! So much more detailed than previous Lego versions! Thank you Lego SW for giving more of these amazing feathery reptiles, thank you! Although I would be quick to run over and hug them all, the Freemakers are a little more concerned because they’d rather not get eaten. Zander decides their best move is to wait until nightfall and grab the orbs while they sleep. The plan from there is for Kordi and Zander to lower Roger into the sinkhole while Rowan keeps an eye out for trouble, a job that both Roger and Ro aren’t thrilled about. Kordi felt it was best Rowan get an easier job after all that’s happened, but I can’t help but think this whole job might’ve gone easier had they had someone other than their three-fingered droid getting the goods. Especially when Kordi decides they should grab a few extra for themselves. It doesn’t take long for him to drop the orbs and awaken the beasts. And them beasts ain’t happy whatsoever. With the scooper falling apart and Roger torn to pieces, it looks like Rowan’s all they’ve got left. With only the red-blade by his side, Rowan takes a spectacular leap of faith and of Force as he rushes in to defend his family. However, not long after he gets down there, he starts to sense what the varactyls are feeling, and it’s a feeling he can relate to. The pain of uncertainty. The fear of loss. But also the fierce love of family. These orbs are eggs, and for all their desperation to survive, and their own fear and pain, the Freemakers aren’t about to let their gain be someone else’s loss. FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS. Also OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH BABY VARACTYLS!!!! THEY’RE SO TINEH AND THEY MEW LIKE KITTENS OHMYGOSH I CAN’T IT’S TOO PRECIOUS. X3 X3 X3 THANK YOU LEGO STAR WARS THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH ❤ ❤ *Falls to knees sobbing with joy* It's like they know what I'd like to see in SW before I even do. Anyway, so as the new varactyl families play together, Kordi makes clear to her little brother that he was wrong about himself — "You are special. You’re the most special kid in the whole galaxy!” and so all of the family feels going on sent me into a coma of warm fuzzies. But I didn’t stay that way for long because I still needed to know what the Freemakers’ next move was. Yeah Hondo knew they were eggs, and he wasn’t terribly thrilled he didn’t get any because they could’ve gotten him some mighty fine creds. Remind me never ever to cross Captain Ohnaka when he’s got a crew because before they knew it, our heroes were surrounded at all ends by blasters O.O That’s about when a flying cup smacked Hondo in the head. Maz has a serious problem with Hondo taking advantage of a bunch of kids and smacks him with glassware and mugs until he and his crew finally vamoose. You go, Pirate Queen! Good seeing ya Hondo. Even if this wasn’t one of your more shining moments 😛 I hope to see you again soon! Just maybe as an ally next time, mkay? Anyhow, Maz does her awesome thing and decides to help out our heroes. She literally pulls the exact part they need out of a set of drawers. She’s amazing, but you knew that. And then… out of a heavily-locked set of drawers, she hands Rowan a Kyber Saber fragment. I think it’s safe to say, yeah, she knew what he was looking for all along. With that, she sends the Freemakers on their way. But not before giving Ro a small piece of advice — to seek out the Maker of Zoh when things get desperate. The youngest Freemaker isn’t sure what that means, but I know from experience… when Maz Kanata tells you something, you better remember it 🙂
Oh yes I just love this one! Another exceptional adventure loaded with excitement and laughs and feels and basically everything! I’d keep going on about how much I love the show and this episode but I figure you’re bored with me by now so I’ll just stop talking.

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

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Following The Freemakers: Peril On Kashyyyk

Allrighty the Following The Freemakers posts are back in full swing! Hopefully this post will turn out better than some of my more recent ramblings. So! What’re the fab Freemakers up to today…? Pff I’m so weird writing this like I haven’t seen it. But that’s just howz I roll 8)
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Freemakers episodes The Lost Treasure Of Cloud City and Peril On Kashyyyk

So first thing I learned is that “Kashyyyk” has three Ys in it. I’d always thought there were just two, but I doublechecked the databanks and turns out there are three. Now to go and fix all those posts I’d tagged the misspelled planet in. Anyway, so we catch Rowan and Zander locked in a deadly battle amongst legendary monsters in a game of space checkers Dejarik! How is Zan possibly losing though? It looks like’s got a varactyl! Though technically I don’t think there’s a playable varactyl in the game according to starwars.com so maybe I’m just being dumb and instantly fangirling over a creature that’s not actually there. Have I mentioned I love varactyls? ‘Cause I really do. *Is hit by brick* But the deadly battle is interrupted as Kordi noses around for spare change. They’re pretty much out of money… again. What I don’t get is, Lando paid them mucho bucks last episode! How are they already drained?? I’d say Zander and Rowan spent the credits on something stupid (“It’s not stupid! It’s a massage chair! This job can be very stressful, Kordi…” XD ), but I don’t think Kordi would’ve let them live if that had happened. Plus, she probably would’ve never let ’em forget it either. It must’ve all gone to important things like rent, food, and spare parts. Whatever the case, the lack of funds has Kordi down. And then walks in a potential customer! A rich potential customer! All they have to do to get that sweet sweet cash is to fashion a dashboard from a special wood from Kashyyyk. Yeah, Kashyyyk is under a major Imperial blockade atm, and evidently Wookiees tend to be a little hostile to outsiders, but Kordi can’t quite see past the dollar signs in her eyes. But don’t worry, girl’s got a master plan! Unfortunately that “master plan”, a translator droid, is 30,000 credits more than they can afford. So backup plan, they give Roger translation capabilities. This couldn’t possibly go wrong, right? 😛 The fact that both Roger and Zander have a bad feeling about this probably jinxed it.
First thing to go wrong today: the Star Scavenger‘s Imperial Shuttle disguise fell apart coming out of hyperspace, which invited quite a few TIE fighters. That ship could really use some weapons systems. Sometimes I’m amazed they’re able to deal with all the scum and villainy in this galaxy without a good blaster at their sides. But perhaps that just makes them better than most. Kordi takes the steering yoke this time and does some maneuvers that’d make Hera proud, leading the TIEs into some rather explosive situations. Bro I wouldn’t dare get between this bosslady and her creds! It’s important to note that, though her somewhat foolhardy determination to get that money doesn’t put her in the best light upon first glance, she’s doing all this for her family. This job is the only reason these kids have survived alone in the galaxy for so long. Though only the middle child, Kordi definitely takes it on herself to protect her brothers at any cost, even if it means she’s got a fly like a crazy person. But we’ll chat more on her character growth later. Let’s talk about Lieutenant Commander Durpin for a second!
The Commander who’d rather lay low than move up; the character concept is fantastic! The fact he does everything in his power to not get involved, not get his hands dirty, not be noticed, and in turn not be Force-choked by a dark-helmeted higher-up, is pretty hilariously genius. And ahhhh Richard Kind did him so well! It may be just a small sidestory in the episode but every scene Durpin’s in is a gem. Hope we see the guy again one of these days.
Second thing to go wrong today: Roger lost his head to the Wookiee chief. Did it ever occur to you guys that maybe sending a Separatist battle droid out to negotiate with Wookiees was a bad idea? Wookiees live a while. These guys probably remember the Clone Wars. And I’m pretty sure they weren’t battle droid fans. That, my friends, is how you alienate a potential ally! It wasn’t looking good for the Freemakers, but turns out, Rowan is actually pretty fluent in Wookiee-speak. It’s interesting, we see characters all over the SW galaxy conversing with the walking carpets without need for basic-to-Wookiee translation. Ahsoka did it, Yoda did it, Sabine did it, Han did it. So they generally must understand basic. But apparently they consider it quite a compliment when someone learns to speak their language. Seems they have no problem giving the Freemakers the wood they need… but there is still somewhat of a price involved that got lost in translation. Rowan apparently agreed to free the chief’s daughter from an Imperial prison in return for the wood. And did I mention there are no backsies? Also did anyone else die laughing when they saw Roger was put back together with some SW variety of duct tape? XD Oh and is it not cute that Wookiee children are called “pups”? Awwwwz :3 But all laughing and “aww”ing aside, it looks like they’re goin’ on a rescue mission whether they like it or not. But honestly Rowan’s definitely likin’ it. Rescuing a princess! What could be more Jedi-y than that?!
So breaking into the prison was fun. Zander did the Masterbuilder thing and turned one of their speederbikes into a catapult, they missed and hit a wall, Kordi threw sass all over a Trandoshan guard and majorly won… good times. And there in cell 1138 (oh look there it is again!) lies the princess, except that he’s actually a prince. A prince who was very insulted that Zander assumed he was a lady and just about mauled him. In Rowan’s defense, the Wookiee language is tough. Also have we ever even seen a canon female Wookiee? How would we know the difference? Y’know, though he’s made a few mistakes here and there, Ro is absolutely nailing Wookiee-speak. I mean, just in getting the growl right if nothing else! I can hardly even attempt to do it without coughing. So cookies to both Rowan and his amazing voice actor, Nicolas Cantu, for doing what I cannot! 😀 But after a brief explanation, the prince gives Rowan a hug. And we all know Wookiee hugs are pretty much the best hugs so yay 🙂 So they were this close to being home free… and then Ro sensed the presence of a Kyber Saber fragment. And then the Trandoshans arrived, armed to the teeth. And that is the… what? Third, fourth thing to go wrong today? Sounds about right. Did I also mention the Wookiees are destroying the prison all the while? This wouldn’t be a problem if they’d just gotten aboard the Star Scavenger and gone back to the Wheel. But Rowan firmly believes that the fate of the galaxy comes first right now. And he goes right back into the crumbling building. Interesting the crystal was in a Trandoshan statue inside the prison. I’m guessing it was moved at some point and the lizards didn’t notice it. Sorry for stating the obvious, just something I only now figured out. Things get crazy intense as the building collapses around them and they have to fend off the guards and Rowan’s trying to get the crystal and Kordi is protecting that wood with her life and may I mention again none of them are armed?? Huh they had a flare gun earlier why didn’t they keep it? Maybe it was only good for one shot. I’m amazed (and super thankful) our heroes lived. It’s so sweet when the chief and his son are reunited; this time Zander gets a hug too! Chief even stroked his head a little X3 The Freemakers and the Wookiees leave on good terms. But once Rowan and Zander make it back to the ship… it seems Lieutenant Commander Durpin finally decided to get involved. While he debates on how to deal with them, the bros look to Kordi, standing behind the Imps… and holding a large piece of hard wood. She looked conflicted on the matter for about two seconds, but ultimately, she knew what was most important right then. And she smacked the crud out of the Imperial Officers with that fancy Kashyyyk wood like a boss. Even though it meant that the piece was broken and they didn’t get paid a cent and they’re back to square one, I don’t think Kordi has any regrets really. After all, it all comes down to protecting her family 🙂 And the Freemaker kids got their first small taste of Rebel-ing today as they gave the Wookiees hope in their own fight against the Empire. Who knows where these small ripples may ultimately lead? For the first time today… I have a good feeling about this 😀
And guesssssss who got promoted? You can call him General Durpin now! Never has a promotion felt like such a well-deserved punishment! “JUST FORCE-CHOKE ME NOW.” XD
Ahh so that was all kinds of wonderful! A classic for sure! So until next post next week…

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

EDIT: Sorry I just remembered… next week is my birthday so I’m probably gonna take a break from blogging. I DON’T GOT TIME TO WRITE! THERE IS CAKE TO BE EATEN, MAN!

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SW Summer Reads – Jedi Prince #5: Queen Of The Empire

It’s not only the first Star Wars Summer Read of the year, but it’s also a very special one! The fifth installment in Paul and Hollace Davids’ Jedi Prince series, Queen Of The Empire, was among the first SW books I ever read. And sometime this month, it will officially have been FIVE YEARS since I first read it! Yeah I was dumb and read the series a little out-of-order, but that didn’t take away from how much I enjoyed it. If you want to refresh your memory on the last four adventures, read my previous posts on The Glove, The City, The Revenge, and The Mission, right here. And now let’s find out what this whole Queen deal is all about… ’cause in all technicality, wouldn’t the official term be “Empress”? I guess Empress Of The Empire doesn’t sound as cool though… who cares let’s just read already.
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode I, Episode IV, Episode V, Episode VI, Episode VII, The Glove Of Darth Vader, The Lost City Of The Jedi, Zorba The Hutt’s Revenge, Mission From Mount Yoda, and Queen Of The Empire.


(Image credit: Amazon.com)

Project Decoy, we haven’t heard a lot about it at this point. But as our Rebs head to the secret labs in the bowels of the Mount Yoda base, we readers are about to get some answers at long last. Scientists Fandar and Fugo are happy to introduce Leia Organa Mark II, an exact droid replica of our favorite previous-princess-future-general! Everyone is impressed, though Han is all “Well this is just creepy” XD Leave it to SW to perfect the perfect human droid! For all we know they might be running around the Resistance now and we’d never even know it O.O Hmm that’s actually kinda a scary thought. So maybe it won’t catch on as a normal everyday droid in the galaxy, but it can be useful when you’re as… um… popular as Leia is right now. And by “popular” I mean she’s been captured or nearly killed three or four times lately. So yeah I can approve the decision. Takin’ a note from her mom’s book 🙂 So yeah Mark II’s got Leia down right to her voice and gestures, except for the small fact SHE CAN SHOOT LASERS OUT OF HER EYES. A useful feature, unless of course it misfires and hits you in the chest. Yeesh poor Fandar. Ho’Din boss healer Baji gets him stabilized, but a heart transplant is absolutely needed. With little time to lose and the Falcon the fastest way to the Chandra-Fan homeworld, Han’s got this, and Leia’s going with. And they make it there 22 standard timeparts later. Sooo is a standard timepart like a minute? I’m assuming something like that. Ahsoka coined the great term “mynock minute”, so I guess that makes “minute” the official-canon term, but either way it works. Hehe the conversations we have here at Padawanline 😛 Though problem, you would not believe the weather they have out here on Chad. They have a pretty bad amount of methane going on and that leads to some pretty bad hurricanes. Oh goody more ship repair bills for Captain Solo… not to mention the fact that landing in a hurricane is incredibly dangerous. Oh, and Threepio got a dent in his arm! Oh heaven forbid! Yes because the perilous landing is the least of our worries right now XP But yeah they made it juuuuust barely, thanks to Han’s mad skillz and a little help from the Force. Leia is all “A little help?” XD Whatever the case, Fandar now can get the medical help he needs and that’s the most important thing here. Oh and then one thing led to another and Han basically got caught in a rockslide. Thank you, no thank you stormy atmosphere and your lightning. It just gets better and better out here! Also, new great SW-ism “…like a drunken alien on hoverskates” yep makes all the sense in the world. Use that one often XD
So anyway, by the time Leia got the security guard out of her hair she turned around and found that rockslide mess. She can sense he’s still alive (always cool seeing the Princess making quiet use of the Force), but for how long is the question. So Leia doesn’t waste a second before she takes control of a boulder-dozer. The image of her at the controls of this massive machine, which is really just a laser cannon with treads, is too awesome. NO DUMB ROCKSLIDE’S GONNA MESS WITH HER MAN! Miraculously, Han comes out relatively unscathed. He’s all “Dang that rockslide ’bout ruined my plans for us!” to which Leia raises an eyebrow “What plans?”. YEEEES, WHAT PLANS CAPTAIN SOLO?? Then he derps out “Oh cool a boulder-dozer! Corellian-made isn’t it?” Pfff a little nervous maybes? Also not that anyone cares but Artoo’s OK. Except for the fact he’s still short-circuiting from the incident earlier that led to the rockslide thing. That’s still a problem.
Back at the DRAPAC Luke, Ken, and Chewbacca were keeping an eye on their dear guest, Triclops. The seemingly decent human being who just happened to have Palpatine for a dad. It’s soon evident why the Empire kept him around despite seeing him as a threat — he sleep-invents terrifying weaponry. Good guy by day, potentially dangerous evil genius by night. Also it seems he knows things about the Reb’s Project Decoy in his sleepy mumblings. One thing for certain, the man is an enigma. Is he Force-sensitive? Just crazy? Super-talented? Who knows. And I’m serious I haven’t read these in a while so I don’t remember the answers to these questions or if these questions are answered at all. Either way, as I’ve said before, much mysterious…
Back on Chad things were looking up. The skies cleared and Fandar was good as new and it looks like R2-D2’s up and running. What next? “WE’RE GOIN’ TO HOLOGRAM FUN WORLD!” is Han’s answer. Leia’s like “Um… no we’re not” to which Han replied “Well if we’re goin’ to elope we are!” and then Leia’s all “WHUT.” I could totally see this happening for reals. Han’s confidence mixed in with his feelings with a little nervousness thrown in makes for one awkwardly adorable proposal that’s so cute I don’t dare rehash it my own words. *Dies fangirling* ❤ Once Leia gets where he's coming from, she's all good though. Soooo good. THreepio walks in on that PDA and he’s all “NOPE” XD Though the princess has no questions about marrying her prince, she was sorta hoping for a more grandiose wedding (hey, what girl doesn’t?). Han assures her they can have an official party later, but for now, with no idea what the future might bring… THEY’RE GOIN’ TO HOLOGRAM FUN WORLD! And there’s an astonishingly gorgeous ancient Corellian wedding band awaiting her, too :3 AHH I CAN’T. IT’S TOO PRESH. I’ll be honest when I first read this I dropped everything and drew a pic of them. Still have it too. ‘Cause AHHHHH DANGIT THEY’RE ADORABLE. *Cough* OK hitting pause on the fangirl button.
So you guys remember Zorba right? Jabba’s dad with a vendetta, current governor of Cloud City, has crazy head of hair? You know him. Well, since he became governor things haven’t been going that well. Business has dropped like a billion times, mainly on the fact that the city’s become a dump next to Hologram Fun World. I don’t think it’s necessarily just the fact that people want cool virtual world experiences over casinos, but probably a lot to do with the fact it’s controlled by a Hutt. So now he’s heading to said Fun World with a handful of bounty hunters, ready to make it look like a dump next to his turf. NUUU WHY YOU GOTTA TAKE IT OUT ON THE INNOCENT HAPPY PEOPLE?!
So Hologram Fun World sounds like a blast. May sound kinda far-out but hey, a galaxy without theme parks wouldn’t be much fun now, would it? Thrilling VR experiences through state-of-the-art holograms. You want to go hoverskiing down the side of an exploding volcano? You can do that! As someone who loves to hunt out cool vacation spots and collects travel brochures everywhere she goes, I most definitely want to take a visit there. Unfortunately, it’s popular enough that one particular show’s been sold out for six months. Dude if there’s a magician out there who’s that good, let me know ’cause I’m not sure anything is worth being sold out for that long. Except SW stuff, anyway 🙂 Also the line to the droid repair shop’s pretty cray. But Han’s more than OK with this, and actually pays a little extra to keep the droids out of his hair. Threepio will not interrupt them again — at least not tonight, anyway. Also, we get to see our good buddy Lando again, now the baron administrator of HFW! Maaaan he done well for himself. The Force most defs be with him considering it wasn’t that long ago when he lost his governor’s position. And he gives them quite the grand tour. THAT STAR DRAGON RIDE SOUNDS AMAZING. I NEED TO RIDE IT. ESPECIALLY IF A STAR DRAGON IS ANYTHING LIKE A VARACTYL. ANNDDD NOW I’M SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS. And they even get to walk down the streets of a virtual Alderaan. OH SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVENS THE FEELS…! After the fun, the power couple just about had everything together for their exchanging of vows… except for their birth certificates. D’oh. Ugh can you imagine the paperwork you’d have to go through if your certificate was destroyed along with your homeworld? Lando promises he’ll get things set up by the next rotation, and until then, he’ll continue to give them the best Fun World experience he can muster, including front-row tickets to that sold-out magic show I mentioned earlier. #Benefits But while they’re having fun… lo and behold Zorba stepped into HFW (or sloshed into, I guess) and had his own kind of “fun” with his scoundrel crew. Theft, destruction, graffiti, the whole dang shebang. He was having an absolute wonderful time until one of his hunters mentioned seeing Leia — and she’s very much alive. So Zorba’s done; he’s gonna personally take to ending her this time. OmO
Gotta say as slow as the Hutts are they sure work fast. He gets a bounty hunter to disguise himself as the magician and quite literally makes Leia disappear. Once again another nice pleasant day ruined by a bad guy. Han and Lando are on the move.
I don’t need to tell you for you to know that Leia’s negotiating skillz are on-point. Too bad she was negotiating with someone who can’t be negotiated with. What the law states and what she was in her right to do don’t matter a centimeter to Zorba, you kill his son you pay the price. Regardless it didn’t get her anywhere I still applaud Leia for defending her honor and throwin’ sass all over that jerkface like she did. But yeah how she’s gonna get outta this one? She’s not entirely alone though… look it’s carbonite Trioculus! Remember him? Wait OMG TRIOCULUS?? EX-EMPEROR WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD? Zorba wins at everything, evidently. At least when it comes to revenge anyway.
The real magician heard everything, so Han and Lando know where they need to go to get Leia back. The Pit of Carkoon on Wonderful ol’ Tatooine! But they’re not alone on their mission, ’cause Luke and Ken popped in with Leia II. The Alliance could tell that the Falcon and the Zorba Express in the same place was trouble. Also everyone knows about the Haneia engagement now so Luke wouldn’t miss a chance to say congrats 🙂
So what do you get when the Grand Moffs have a conference? A MOFFERENCE! No seriously that’s what they’re calling it. Pffff sounds so dignified don’t it? Yeah the Moffs decided to discuss some business right outside of Tatooine so you know things’ll get interesting later. The business they’re discussing is their problem with new Emperor Kadann, who not only killed Trioculus but is planning on demoting all the moffs. The Moffs no likey, especially not Hissa, who was left to die by one of the dark side prophets and now bears two mechanical arms and is permanently confined to a hoverchair. So once they see Zorba heading their way, they decided to play the revenge game themselves. So now the number of people Han and crew have to save Leia from has doubled. Wonderful. Basically all heck broke loose in the moffship. Somehow with enough stormtroopers, they managed to apprehend Zorba. And wow man Zorba looks absolutely huge in the illustration. Comparably it looks like he could sit on four Hutts and hold Rotta in the palm of his hand. Granted, Mama The Hutt could probably still skoosh him (I believe she’d be Zorb’s aunt, if my memory serves me well), but still! He’s a monster! Somehow didn’t stop the Imps though. The Grand Moff and his crew were quite happy to see Trioculus frozen, but alive. Zorba was pretty smart to only keep a decoy in public. But now… oh boy… the dark, scarred ex-Emperor rises, and he’s got some unfinished business to attend to. But first he takes a walk down memory lane with Hissa as he looks at their lovely weapon stash. Ah, the countless lives he’s destroyed! Slaves, settlers, tourists that took a wrong turn… such good times! Yeesh. GET. A. HOBBY. TRIO. And then Zorba makes a deal he knows the three-eyed gent can’t refuse: his freedom for Leia. Trioculus couldn’t seal that deal soon enough. Once again, Leia fearlessly speaks her mind to the dark dude, but somehow all that doesn’t sway the dark dude’s feelings. Trioculus offers her all the power and position as his bride and the opportunity to watch Zorba eaten by the sarlacc, but she just keeps negotiating like a boss (seriously they wrote amazingly for her). So Trio makes an offer she can’t refuse — to stay with Zorba or with him. Leia finally says “yes”. But only ’cause she’s buying time to look for a way out. ‘Cause bro Princess Bosslady is taken mkay?
As the Falcon crew prepared the rescue, Trioculus put on his show and sent the old Hutt to the mouth of the Sarlacc. Trio’s pretty sure he saw Leia smile, though it could’ve been a grimace… he’s not really good at understanding emotions. He uses it an excuse to convince her the Dark Side’s a done deal, and even pulls out the “your dad’s Darth Vader” card again, but Leia’s still all kinds of NOPE. Which for him means it’s time to start the wedding! Poor guy has no clue what social cues are, does he? Being engaged to two guys in two days might sound kinda cool like “wow I’m so fabulous everybody’s fighting over me”, but for Leia, it’s really really not. Especially when she only loves one of those two guys. But surprise! Said guy and company were waiting in the wings and they’re goin’ home! And now four more stormtroopers are gonna wake up in garbage today. Hehe XD
Now it’s time for the royal Imperial wedding!! Squeeeeeeee!! Well, I’m pretty sure the talk dark dork was the only one squeeing today, but that’s all that matters to him right now. Oh, the wedding was beautiful, you should’ve seen it… the black zinthorns, the turbolaser access shaft they used as an altar, all the moffs abuzz with the belief that Leia’d gone to the Dark Side, and of course, the wonderful moment where it turned out to be the replica droid and her gaze literally pierced his heart. Aww I told myself I wouldn’t cry but… that was a beautiful plan! Trioculus died with the knowledge he’d been played… with the destroyed Leia II by his side. Fitting. Verrry fitting. Though whoo I bet the Grand Moff’s not gonna be happy about this…
So our heroes head back to Mount Yoda alive and well. And the conversation turns to new wedding plans and whether “best man” can apply to someone who’s not human (politically correct, that should be “best male being”). But there might be a small problem they don’t know about yet… and by “small problem” I mean BIG because look who crawled his way out of the Sarlacc? Zorba The Hutt, and he’s still gettin’ the last laugh…
Ohhh myy that was fun! Theme parks, lots of villainy, and HanXLeia sweetness! So many fun memories reading this, and I’m thrilled I was able to read along with you now. Until the next post is up…

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

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