Following The Freemakers: The Kyber Saber Crystal Chase

FREEEEEEEMAKERRRRRRRR TIIIIIIIIIIIME *blows air horn*
Was I out of ideas for an opener? Yes, yes I was. Here at Padawanline we’re an honest bunch. And by “we’re” and “bunch”, I mean “I’m” and “person”, but it sounded better using the royal “we”. Yep this ought to be an interesting blog today! Let’s get started digging into the fast-paced excitement of The Kyber Saber Crystal Chase!
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode III, The Empire Strikes Out, and Freemakers episodes Peril On Kashyyyk, The Test and The Kyber Saber Crystal Chase

We reunite with the Freemakers right where we left off last episode as they finish up final repairs on the StarScavenger. With a new Kyber Saber fragment in hand and their ship “purring like a nexu”, things are looking hopeful for the first time since yesterday’s frightening events (or however long it’s been… the amount of time that passes in SW confuses me sometimes). Then came a peppering of laserfire from Graballa’s fleet. And the Eclipse Fighter’s joined in too. Freemakers be like “HOW EVEN???” But before they know it, Naare Force-grabs the kyber crystal right out of Rowan’s hands. OH NOES WHYYYYYY. *Sigh* So much for hope. Time for the Freemakers to get the heck outta Tako-Dodge. They set their hyperspace for “anywhere” and fly off. Despite this, Naare doesn’t seem worried. And when a villain doesn’t fret over their prey getting away… it usually means they’ve got something else planned…
None of the Freemakers can figure exactly how she found them, especially when there’s no tracking device on their ship. Rowan feels terrible that, once again, he’s allowed pieces of the ultimate weapon to fall into their enemy’s hands. But Kordi surmises if they can keep at least one crystal out of Naare’s grasp, she won’t be able to reconstruct the Saber and the galaxy will be saved. So Rowan decides they’re heading to a certain water planet I’ve already forgotten the name of to grab the next crystal. To navigate the planet’s depths, Zander reveals his newest creation, the Z-Sub. Unfortunately for him, his siblings find his technological marvel to be adorable. I’d say I get Zan’s feelings on the matter, but it really is pretty darn cute :3 I know I wanna build that Lego set when it comes out! Kordi henceforth and forevermore dubs it the Bubbly Subbly. The Freemaker firstborn is not amused, buuuuut he ends up going with it anyway. To the deep blue sea! Ugh I gotta tell ya I am not good with new planet names… if it’s not readily accessible in the starwars.com databanks I won’t have a clue how to spell it, if I remember it at all! 😛 It is a really cool planet though. I wonder if it’s got any sentient life on it, or if it’s just a wild planet like Dagobah. It certainly does have life on it though, as it seems a massive anglerfish-like beast is using the Saber fragment as a light source. I’m guessing that the ancient Jedi probably didn’t hide it there. The fish probably found the crystal and took it for itself later on. The idea of a creature that uses found objects for their lures is seriously cool. Even though yeah it’s causing some major problems for our heroes today. The fish gives chase for a while until the Freemakers realize their now-broken light was competing with his lure. Once Rowan repairs it with the Force, the creature and the sub make a trade and go on their merry ways. Success! But then… NAARE?? AGAIN?? With the Fighter tethered to the sub, their best move is to head back underwater. The Agent’s ship was built for the stars, not the sea, which works well in the Freemaker’s favor as the Eclipse Fighter’s controls get fried. Zander made a spectacular move as he shot the sub back into the StarScavenger, but unfortunately, though the Fighter couldn’t fly, Naare still swiftly takes the new crystal for her own. Kordi insists Roger get get them into hyperspace now… while they’re still on the planet. What happens is magnificent. The force of the lightspeed jump causes the waters to rise in a massive wave. And Naare and her spacecraft are caught right in it. Truly MAGNIFICENT. But the score remains Naare: 2. Freemakers: 0. And Naare is well-aware of this. She’s usually so… well, short-tempered, to put it mildly. I’m seriously impressed with how chill she’s been today. But honestly she’s even scarier when she’s chill than when she’s full-blown enraged. Also the thing with Graballa and Dengar. It seems Vader’s not the only one to show up late for his dramatic entrance XD
Ooh finally a new paragraph! So the Freemaker’s next stop is Naboo. Beautiful, peaceful, well-populated-enough-to-help-them-lay-low Naboo! Unfortunately it’s also the Naboo that’s home to the new Palapatine Museum. OMG THIS CONCEPT. IT IS PERFECT. AND MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. Why wouldn’t the Emperor have a whole educational building dedicated to his greatness on his homeworld? Of all the places to hide a Kyber Saber crystal though…! Also Wic Cooper, “Palpatine’s biggest fan“, literally cuts in line to get the most expensive tour they’ve got. And this is a museum dedicated to Darth Sidious. Cooper you have no clue how messed-up this all is. Anyway, this calls for a master plan! That’s why R0-GR’s puttin’ on his fake ‘stache. OK actually Zander’s the one with the master plan, but it does still involve the droid. Zan’s just an ordinary deliveryman with a droid for the Clone Wars exhibit! But as soon as he runs into Durpin and Plumestriker… he’s an ordinary deliveryman with a fake mustache. Oh yes I missed Durpin and Plumestriker! It’s been too long! Now they’re museum officials, and Durpin is happy just to be doin’ nothing much of anything. Plumestriker doesn’t seem to share the opinion but he is Durpin’s subordinate, so whatcha gonna do, right? But while they go about their “business” (read: playing dejarik), the Freemakers go about some business of their own. With Roger on the inside, the sibs are able to get in without a hitch. But about two seconds in Zander darts off to the gift shop. I don’t blame him I have a serious thing for museum swag. And museums in general. Were I living in their galaxy I’d probably not be as fond of the Imperial merch, but in this galaxy, all I want right now is that little AT-AT XD Kordi and Rowan remind him to remain focused (and also that btdubs Palpatine wouldn’t bat an eyelash at killing them so why would you buy his merch?) but man… this museum is a treasure trove of beautiful distractions. Roger goes off to talk to some old (deactivated) friends, Zander can’t resist the allure of the vintage starships… even Kordi isn’t immune when she eyes all the pretty Queen Amidala dresses! That made me laugh so hard, because honestly I’m just like her in that way. Most of the time, I’ll dress casually and chill livin’ my average-American life, but I do love to dress up and act fancy from time to time XD Who knew financially-attuned Kordi would have such rich tastes? Also I really like the museum covers more than just Palpatine himself, but every aspect of his devious plan, which I just realized is actually kinda sad… but at risk of me talking about Clone Wars philosophy I should just move on back to the story. I never thought I’d see the day when Rowan had more focus than the rest of his family, but that day has come. OK well he was briefly distracted by a floor buffer, but still not as long as the others. Not that things go perfectly by any means though. Rowan was startled by a Palpatine animatronic and backed into a giant Palpatine statue that knocked over the other Palpatine statues and I’m literally already tired of saying “Palpatine” in this paragraph. And then one thing led to another and there was a… small explosion. Who’s bright idea was it put fully-armed blasters and N1 starfighters on display anyway?? Plumestriker won’t let Durpin ignore that. So he presses an alarm button and from behind the doors come a whole squad of storms. Wait… were those stormtroopers standing behind the door the whole time? Just waiting for something to go wrong? That must be insanely boring. But either way, it’s time for action! Whether Durpin likes it or not! Another question: though Kordi absolutely rocked the classic Queen Amidala dress, how did she do the makeup? Did they have actual samples of the makeup on display or does she actually carry some face paint around? And how’d she do it in the dark to begin with? The world may never know, but again, it’s fun seeing the secretly-fancy side of the Freemaker Bosslady. But now they’ve got stormtroopers staring them down with the dork Imps in tow. Plumestriker recognized them and had no problem ordering his men to fire… until THE EMPEROR HIMSELF SHOWED UP. I wasn’t really freaked out though, I figured it might’ve been Rowan taking advantage of the 50% off sale on the Palpatine voice changers. He orders them to let the “generous donors” go and Durpin is happily demoted to ensign. And turns out the kyber crystal was hidden away in the Queen’s headpiece. Y’know wow that must be one ancient headpiece if that was where the Jedi had hidden it all along. Wonder if Padme or Sabe ever noticed the small sharp pain whenever they put it on? And also why the ancient Jedi thought that was a good hiding place. But either way it worked out well for the Freemakers! Oh they weren’t gonna get off that easy though… look! It’s Naare! Again! And this time with Dengar! Of course this couldn’t just be easy. Also funny Kordi and Zander and I were thinking the same thing when Roger pulled out a loaded blaster on their foes. It just seems like an all-around bad idea, man! Insurance must be steeeeeep. But then again this is Palpatine we’re talking about “I AM THE INSURANCE!” XD Naare faces Rowan head-on this time, clearly looking forward to another win. But this time, Rowan fights back and Force-grabs it himself. Oooh Force fights are always fascinating to me. Who has the greater focus, who has the stronger ability? Unfortunately (also getting kinda tired of saying that), Naare gets into his head and takes it for herself. However, Rowan’s not going down without a fight, and unsheathes the red blade. OK am I the only person who really loves the imagery here? Our hero is clothed in black and fights with a red lightsaber, while our villain wears the traditional garb of a Jedi and wields a blue-blade. It’s seriously fascinating. As though an illustration that the light and dark lie in all, regardless of who we believe we are. No Sith is too far gone unless they choose to do so. Just as no Jedi is 100% pure of heart all the time. We’re human. We’re imperfect. But we always have a choice. After this episode I definitely toyed around with the wondering if Rowan might ever walk down the dark path Naare did, and if she might ever return to the light. Oh I just love talking SW philosophy! It’s so legittttt. This duel was equal parts exciting and terrifying, as we’re finally getting to see Rowan in a duel, but we’re all aware he’s not as well-trained as Naare is… and she fights dirty and mercilessly. So I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, knowing that one move and someone could be dead. Or minus a limb. And darn it all, Naare won again as she slammed Rowan’s lightsaber out of his grip, and followed that up by Force-grabbing him and throwing him into the N1. Now she approaches Rowan with two blades in hand, dragging them along the ground, surely about to end her pawn’s life, and I’m basically sick with fear at this point. “With me, you could’ve reached your destiny”. To which Rowan awesomely replies “I’m going to reach for something else.” Anyone else just realize how amazing that line is? Naare implies his destiny could’ve been with the dark, but Rowan knows he has a choice. Also it was a pun because he was about to drop the N1 on her, but it’s still amazing all the same. And like that, the starfighter explodes and sets off a chain reaction, most certainly sending everyone packing. With the museum falling down around them, it looks like the only kyber crystal they’ve got was in the blue-blade Rowan has now claimed as his own. It’s only when they’re aboard the StarScavenger once more they find out exactly how it is she knew their every move… Roger’s pack O.O *SHOCKING TWIST*
Turns out Naare actually somehow survived the wreckage. I was relieved in some ways because she’s an awesome villain and I didn’t really want her dead yet if she was going to die at all, but I was also kinda freaked out because… well, she’s a villain. And she’s only a a centimeter away from reconstructing a handheld superweapon. Though as Graballa suggests, she gonna have to do some explainin’ to her boss regarding all this property damage… but that’s not important right now. The Imperial Agent’s quest is almost complete. Everything that happens in the next few episodes will determine the very fate of the galaxy. *OMINOUS ENDING AGAIN*
Oh wow oh wow what an episode! So great I kinda messed it up at the end. I do regret to say this’ll be the last Following The Freemakers post for a while, since we’ll soon be reuniting with the Rebels. If I could I’d write about SW all day, but I can’t. But I’ll most definitely write on the next episode when I can. So thank you for joining me and let’s get hyped for SWR Season 3!

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

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Following The Freemakers: The Mines Of Graballa

Thrilled to be comin’ back to the Freemakers’ corner of the galaxy! This fandom has hit me so hard this past week. Any minute I wasn’t throwing around headcanons and waxing philosophical, I was working on perfecting my drawings of them! I mean, this is normal for me with all SW things but it feels awesome having something new in the galaxy to fangirl over! Anyway, now the Kyber crystals are calling me to just start writing this post already. Onto The Mines Of Graballa!
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Freemakers episodes A Hero Discovered and The Mines Of Graballa

Day one of Rowan’s Jedi training: I figured teaching him to use the Force on an object wouldn’t hurt. Three seconds in he Force-grabbed my lightsaber instead and nearly killed me. Part of me is impressed he had so little trouble Force-grabbing it, but part of me is slightly terrified… Mostly I just hope it won’t be too expensive to fix the burn mark on the floor. – Excerpt from Naare’s nonexistent journal that I totally just made up.
Y’know I really like this concept to open up on! It is an interesting thing to note though… lifting the small brick took more work than the assumptively heavier blade. Considering the trance he falls into when he senses the pieces of the Kyber Saber, it makes you wonder if he has a unique Force ability, like Ezra’s ability to connect. Though he’s still a little distracted, I think Rowan’s already made some improvement today alone! Again, Naare’s patience is pretty impressive, especially knowing her true loyalties lie elsewhere. She re-reminds him of the task at hand, but just about as soon as she brings up the holomap, Rowan picks up on the location of a piece of the Saber, hidden somewhere in an asteroid field. The master and padawan are off! Well, actually no they have to get through Kordi first. Though Kordi’s overprotectiveness isn’t appreciated by Rowan and Naare, I’ve gotta admire her strength and protective instinct. Who knows what these three kids have been through? Kordi’s the oldest and clearly takes it upon herself to keep her brothers safe in a war-torn galaxy. Naare argues the sheer importance of the mission, but Kordi don’t care, this is her little brother. Let the galaxy fall apart around them if it must, family comes first for the Freemakers! So Naare tries option two: a little mind trickery. Soon as she pulled that I was all “OH NO YOU DIDN’T.” and that’s pretty much exactly Kordi’s response, ’cause Freemaker bosslady ain’t no weak-minded fool! And then out come the claws. Rowan decides if you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself. He cries “reactor leak” and he and Roger make a break for a Z-wing. Also “I’m sorry about your brother and sister, but as the last of the battle droids, I must be preserved at all costs!” WOW nice to know you care, Roger! Of course, as it turns out there might not’ve been a reactor leak so… R0-GR you just got played like an idiot’s array!
So the two-many-cooks-in-the-kitchen drama played out for a while. Harsh words were spoken, Naare smashed a crate (with her bare hands yikes), and only after that did it occur to everyone that their youngest crewmember and droid were gone. Also the Z-wing’s gone too, but only Zander cares about the “ugly” 😛 The two ships head off into hyperspace with a few more snide comments thrown over the com. I applaud your boldness, Kordi. She don’t sugarcoat nothin’! Though I might be a tad concerned about Naare still. Let’s not forget she destroyed that crate with her bare hands
“AN ASTEROID FIELD!! WHY. DO. YOU. HATE. ME?!” Again, can I just say that Roger is perfect? XD Though they had a rough time getting there, it’s not long before Rowan senses the crystal’s presence. And oh look it’s somewhere in an illegal Hutt mine. And once Rowan gets into crystal-trance mode, he can’t be stopped, even when walking right into a dangerous mining facility. It’s only thanks to a certain R0 unit something horrible didn’t happen to him. Well, we can also thank the mining droid Roger befriended for catching him before he fell into that firey pit. All I can say is those ancient Jedi were smart to hide the thing where they did. It might’ve been a little trouble for Ro to get it, but the fact an entire mining operation’s going down here and nobody ever noticed it is pretty impressive. So with kyber crystal in hand, looks like our duo’s heading back home. And then they run into some trouble… and the trouble’s names are “Raam” and “Baash”.
Meanwhile Naare is seriously trying not to kill Kordi and Zander right now. Kordi, you’re awesome and I love you but please stop making her mad. Though tbh I’m guilty of the same thing. Once she gets going on something, it’s hard to get her to stop! Ooh boyy did you see how close those asteroids were to the Star Scavenger?? YeEeeEeeEsh…
So Raam and Baash come off as a threat at first, but I think they lost that image as they start literally butting heads over who likes watching mining droids blow stuff up more. Did get me thinking, is this something males of their species typically do? Honestly I forgot those horns of theirs were actually solid horns and not something softer, like a nose. Perhaps Saesee Tiin is just a rare polite guy for his kind? Or maybe Raam and Baash are just dorks. Either way it makes sense. After the bros recover from the head trauma, Rowan decides to properly introduce themselves… as bounty hunters. Amazing what a spare Boussh helmet can do, right? Clearly you can’t argue with the galaxy’s most dangerous ugnaught and better-than-IG-88 droid IG-89! It’s just math! XD (Though technically Rowan is probably taller than an ugnaught, but I guess it makes more sense in Lego logic than in SW logic) Unfortunately Rowan’s plan backfired a teensy bit ’cause now Raam and Baash insist on the “hunters” meeting their boss. And oh right their boss is a Hutt. Graballa The Hutt, to be precise. It’s tough being a second-rate Hutt, especially when you’re Jabba’s cousin and all he does it put you in charge of some desolate mining operation. Graballa has dreams, man! Granted, I don’t know how many would go to a resort owned by a Hutt, since well, if there’s a decent Hutt out there I sure hadn’t met him yet. Somehow you still gotta admire his drive and determination… even if he is rather a slippery slug. OK so oohhh myyy gravy I love this buhkee! He drops that wit and sarcasm so effortlessly and so perfectly, and Dana Snyder’s voice just brings him to life! I mean, when a Hutt speaks basic… the things they say are too fun XD The headbutter boys take great pride in the fierce bounty hunters they dug up, but Graballa isn’t impressed. “I’ve already got Dengar. Sure he’s no Boba Fett, but… OK there’s no but, he’s no Boba Fett. But he’s still a bounty hunter!” XD XD But he’s willing to pit them against each other and see who’s best. Roger’s seriously not loving this plan, but Rowan figures after finding a kyber crystal on his own, he can handle anything. And Dengar seems harmless enough, conked out on the couch with an teddy-ewok in hand. But well… let’s just say I’m glad Ro was wearing a helmet. Dengar is like a ninja, man! He literally uses one of his opponents as a weapon! I know he’s no Fett but that’s some pretty ingenious skill. And using his head wrap to bind Rowan’s hands? Yeah my respect for this guy just went up a few notches. And then Roger steps back into the fight and uses Rowan as a weapon and starts whacking Dengar with his “sidekick”‘s helmeted head XD Give Roger a break his head’s on backwards! He’s doing the best he can right now! Does make you wonder if R0-GR still has any of his blaster skills from back in the day. I don’t think he’s had his memory wiped since he recalls a number of details about the Clone Wars, but there’s clearly not an inch of the shoot-up-the-innocents mentality battle droids were programmed with. I assumed he was destroyed in some battle and the Freemakers found him decades later and fixed him up, which I’d assumed meant he was completely memory-wiped and reprogrammed. But apparently that last part isn’t the case. So that means either he simply chose to remain loyal to the Freemakers, or maybe he only remembers certain details about the Clone Wars? Good questions. Now before I start thinking deep thoughts about droids and free will vs. programming, let’s get back to this already. Where were we? Oh yeah then Dengar PICKS UP THE COUCH and HITS ROWAN AND ROGER WITH IT. And then goes right back to his nap. Again, #Skillz. But when Rowan got thrown ‘cross the room… a certain small glowing blue something left his grasp and rolled over right at he feet(?) of Graballa. When Rowan’s unable to convince him it’s worthless, Roger accidentally buries them in deeper trouble by mentioning there’re more of them and the Emperor wants ’em. Because clearly if the Emperor wants ’em they’re really really worth something. And until the boy and the droid spill… they’re gonna have to play with Smiley… and Smiley is a NEXU. Also just to note there happens to be the remains of a lightsaber in Smiley’s litterbox. That beast ate a Jedi recently. As if we weren’t terrified already! Oh and yeah that litterbox looks awfully small for a critter that big… but you know what let’s not talk about that. Anyway, it looks pretty grim for Rowan and Roger as they dangle precariously above the Nexu’s deadly maw. And just then Kordi and Zander strut on in. With a pile of parts and Kordi’s winning salesperson skills, they’re offering only the finest merchandise this side of the Outer Rim! As you might’ve figured, this is a distraction, and Naare is slinking around in the shadows looking to free her pawn padawan. Honestly with only the headbutter bros in her way, it was so easy it’s not even fair. Unfortunately though Graballa saw through the whole charade. Fortunately Zander built a makeshift spacecraft out of those parts. Unfortunately again, the Freemakers’ little space minivan is shortly thereafter pursued by every single one of the Hutt’s cronies. It ultimately comes down to Kordi’s quick fixes and Naare’s show of Force to get them out of the soup. Kordi miiiiight have a little more respect for the Jedi now. I’d hope maybe Naare garnered some respect for Kordi’s mechanical mastery, too, but let’s be honest, darkside girl probably don’t care XP
So everybody’s finally back in their own ships and everyone can breathe again. Though Kordi is frustrated with all the trouble her sib’s caused today, she doesn’t regret a second of the trouble she went through to save him. Bro I just died of feels. AWWW FAMILY YAYYY >w< On the other hand, Naare doesn't share the same opinion when she hears Rowan found a crystal and lost it during the battle. Here this precious child is bearing his soul in his apology and Naare is so done she LITERALLY HAS HER TARGETING SYSTEM ON THEIR SHIP. And if it weren't for the fact Ro suddenly located the Kyber crystal and turned the Star Scavenger around… Naare would have stinkin’ killed them. The fact that she actually had already fired is what’s really scary. Would’ve been nerve-wracking enough if they’d just had her nearly fire on them, but nope she did, and it just. barely. missed. them. Like OMG. So though Rowan’s happy he got the crystal back, I’m still pretty shook. Oh who am I kidding Rowan’s enthusiasm is downright contagious! Let’s just all be happy right now! “Who’s got two thumbs– er… two hands, and the Force flowin’ through him? This guy!” Oh right there is that problem with Graballa though… and the fact he still wants them thar kyber crystals… and he knows Rowan can lead him to ’em. Enjoy the happy moment while it lasts, Rowan… ’cause you’re about to get pretty popular.
AAHHH THIS SHOW IS SO SOLID. THAT IS ALL. Can’t wait to dig into the next chapter next time ’round!

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

Rebel Transmissions: Blood Sisters

Woot it’s Rebels time again! Yes recapping and commentating on this lovely episode will be a delight. So much excitement! So much feels! And of course, so much Sabine! So let’s cut short this rambling and start focusing on rambling on about Blood Sisters!
Note: Contains spoilers from Episode VI and Rebels episodes Fighter Flight and Blood Sisters

So it’s chore day for the Mini-Alliance, and Hera’s got a job for everybody. For Sabine it’s getting some super-important intel from an unknown shuttle passenger. Sounds easy enough right? Welp it’s indeed “a long way to Alderaan”. Heh that was one of my cornier bits but it works. Not to miss the fun, Ezra and Chopper manage to join as backup. Yep, a very long way to Alderaan. Especially when Ezra boy gets chatty. He casually brings up that she’s rather a lone anooba, at least, as far as it seems to him. No it’s not that she’s a loner Ezra, she’s just trying to keep away from you XP OK OK that’s not entirely true. Funny thing is I would’ve never pegged her for a loner. She seems pretty amiable, at least with her Ghost family. But in some ways it makes sense, after all, sometimes it’s just good to get away from the chaos of everyday Rebel life and do a little painting (or texting perhaps), have a little “me” time, y’know? I think Ezra might just scrambling for something to talk about. Because clearly asking her about her personal life is a good conversation starter! Haha I’ll be honest with you guys I’ve been hoping for a little one-sided Ezra-Sabine cute-awkwardness to surface again. This episode delivered nicely 🙂 So yeah Ezra just kept going, apparently still playing psychologist, when a painted mark on the wall catches Sabine’s attention. Something she very much recognizes. After her backup expresses some curiosity about it, she bypasses it and they move on to the rest of their mission, but don’t think that it won’t be important later. So basically they spend the whole afternoon commenting on the distance to Bail Organa’s homeworld and weirding people out as they go. Pff that one girl they both try dropping the code to… XD And then just when they thought they’d somehow missed the courier for good, a GOM droid responds to their code. Yay GOM droids! It’s nice to finally get a character out of one of these little guys! And I’m aware they might also be known as Gonk droids so please don’t chew me out for that hole in my droid knowledge. So it looks like they got what they came for, but it seems there’s one other person still hanging around the hangar… and she miiiiight be interested in EG-86 too. Ladies and gentlemen, Ketsu Onyo! Former friend of Sabine, current bounty hunter working for the Black Sun with intent to trade in Miss Wren for some cash. BTdubs this completely breaks girl code Ketsu. Ezra is smart and doesn’t get in between their standoff. Perhaps he needs to drop some psychology on these two? “So she left you for dead after you became bounty hunters… how does that make you feel?” 😛 And wow Sabine did some hunting not too long ago. Seems kinda crazy considering she might not’ve been much older than 15 or so, maybe even younger. But she is Sabine after all; something about that supercommando Mando blood. Yeah this sorta explains why she has paintings of Cad Bane and Embo on her wall… they’re not just cool guys with weapon skillz and big hats, they’re probably role models to her. And now half of you have gone to check Fighter Flight to see these drawings for yourself. Anyway, the tension in the room was cray thick as both girls kept their hands at their holsters. Ezra was about to start a therapy sesh when suddenly in walked a bunch of stormtroopers, not terribly happy a bunch of people are here after closing. Ketsu is completely ticked off that these losers broke the tension and starts shooting at them. And then Sabine’s shooting and everyone’s making a run for it. Despite the girls still aren’t on the same page right now, they can’t help but compliment each other’s blaster skills 🙂 With Ezra covering them with his blaster-saber, he directs Chop and EG to the nearest shuttle, and Sabine and Ezra follow shortly thereafter. The shuttle’s pilot droid is rather insulted with their barging in, but Chopper takes care of him pretty quickly. My that sounded dark didn’t it? DON’T PANIC THE PILOT’S OK HE JUST SHUT HIM OFF THAT’S ALL! Sabine wastes no time after that getting that shuttle airborne and outta there. Ezra covers his comrades the whole way, at least until blasterfire knocks him off the ship, anyway. He throws out an update to Hera on the situation as he makes his own exit outta there. As for Miss Onyo… she don’t give up so easily. The ‘troopers foolishly think they’ve got her, and then Ketsu whips out a deadly blade to match her blaster. She pretty much beats the living daylights out of those bucketheads. Yeah the armor don’t do the job it probably ought to, considering the way she whammed one in the jaw. And dang not just anyone would use a stormtrooper as a living shield! That’s a good move, right up there with Chewbacca’s pick-up-a-trooper-and-drop-it-on-another! Honestly I’m surprised any of them lived. But as we find out along the way, she’s not a heartless sort of girl. But with that out of the way, she effortlessly bounds her way to her ship and sets off after Sabine and Chopper. Yeah just when our heroes thought they had some breathing room… you can kiss that hyperdrive goodbye. Same for that hatch. Few situations in SW would terrify me more than being about to be sucked out into space. You can recover from a nexu bite, you can get a robotic arm if a lightsaber knocks one off, but you end up in space, especially minus the proper headgear, you’re done for, man. EG was the only thing keeping Sabine from that fate, and of course the button to turn on the shields was at an inconvenient distance. Yep that is definitely what I would call terrifying. It’s definitely even scarier when using the Force isn’t an option. She made it though. Just barely. Meanwhile Chopper was having a little space adventure. I’m always amazed he can get around as well as he does. And he has a little plan of his own…
*CoughIprobablyshould’vestarted newparagraphlongbeforenowcough* So Ketsu makes Sabine a final offer, to surrender the droid or the shuttle goes down. Neither have any interest in backing down though. And then Sabine spots Chopper on Ketsu’s ship, as in literally on her ship. And he happily goes about fiddling with its weapons systems, all “Let’s see… you don’t need this important-looking part do you?” *throws away* XD All the while Sabine keeps talking and keeps Miss Onyo distracted. Ketsu makes mention of her high status as a Black Sun hunter, and Sabine combats that with the fact they’re not the most reputable people to be employed by, considering, to put it lightly, they’re all a bunch of backstabbing jerks. Ketsu gets tired of the conversation after that and throws out the “surrender” option again. When that doesn’t work, she goes to the guns. And as you can figure, nothing happened. Except for Chopper laughing as he holds a dismembered weapons array in his clutches. Nicely done Mr. Chop 😀 Nicely. Done. With that, Sabine’s out with Chopper following closely behind. Unfortunately not closely enough though, ’cause that’s when Ketsu grabs him in her tractor beam. EG-86 is all “NOOOOOOO CHOPPERRRRRR!!”, as I’m sure we all were at that moment. Chop can only cover his optical sensors as he draws closer and closer to Ketsu’s grasp. Looks like Sabine’s gotta turn around and try for a new deal. Also, Chopper’s ninja skills are unparalleled. His form when Ketsu first faces him is pretty impressive… up until she throws out that blade anyway. So the girls meet in the middle in a docking ramp between ships, and Sabine has no intention to take any offers on EG. In fact, Sabine’s not making any offers at all. Not for any kind of extra cash or anything. Ketsu remains unimpressed, as she sees little merit in her Rebelling or in some loyal droid. And then Sabine just out-and-out says “I forgive you”. That is literally one of the most noble things I’ve ever seen. She forgives her for that incident from the last time they hung out, and she forgives her for what she’s doing now. And above all, she’s offering her old friend a new start. Mic drop. Ketsu has no idea how to respond to that, but she seems rather floored. And then a few Imperials interrupted what could’ve been a peaceful resolution. Apparently they haven’t forgotten that Sabine kinda stole that shuttle. But hey, nothing better to bond over than fighting the same enemy, right? And like that, these two severely awesome ladies are friends again. Though yeah admittedly they are in a bit of a pickle… especially considering Ketsu’s got no firepower. I love the subtle huff Chopper gets into on that comment 🙂 But Miss Wren has a plan, and it involves possibly blowing up the shuttle. And thankfully, Ketsu and Sabine love explosives the way some teen girls love shoes… never can have enough of ’em! 😀 Anyone else getting friendship feels right now? True they may not’ve always had each other’s best interests (OK mostly on Ketsu’s part), but it’s crystal clear they get each other, and you can see why they became friends to start with, so I think becoming BFFs again, even after all that crud, is entirely possible. Anyway Sabine plants more than a few detonators and decides to let the pilot droid have most of the conversation with the Imperials. Hehe the little guy seems a bit panicky. I’m pretty sure RX would’ve handled this a bit more smoothly had he been piloting. And then the Imps blast the ramp while Sabine’s in there and it throws her back into the shuttle and knocks her out! Ketsu risks everything to save her friend as the threat of both Imperials and their own firepower come ever closer. They make it back on the ship just in time, and just like that the Imperials get a face full of massive explosion! And with them distracted, our heroes’ next stop is hyperspace! YUS all the teamwork all the friendship!! And then it’s to Alderaan to deliver EG-86! Oh, and they happen to be met by R2-D2! Artoo’s all “Well you people sure took your time” to which Chopper’s like “NBD you can thank us later” and they left in a huff, clearly glad to be out of each other’s domes. Heh heh and you thought Threepio was tough to get along with… 😛
So the girls arrive back on Guerell shortly thereafter. Hera congratulates them both for the success of the mission. And Ketsu seems genuinely appreciative of the thanks. Ezra, now gone from psychologist back to complete teenage guy, reintroduces himself. “Yessss she’s told me all about you…” “Good things right?” Pfff Sabine shoots him such a look XD No I’m thinking Sabine probably referred to him as the “helmet-collecting dork who shoots well and flirts badly” XP Oh and the whole thing where she wanted a moment to say goodbye to her friend and Ezra completely misunderstood that? So very awkward but utterly delightful. Hehe Ketsu seemed to enjoy the awkwardness as much as I do 🙂 So some thanks were in order as was a solid sisterly handshake. And Sabine did offer up that if Ketsu ever wanted to lend a hand they’d be happy to have her. Ketsu doesn’t make any promises per se, but I think it’s safe to say the next time we see her, she’ll be all there for her BFF 🙂
And then as the end credits started rolling I yelled triumphantly “FRIENDSHIP!” to no one in particular. Ahh this episode makes me so happy! It’s just too wonderful seeing our heroes’ worlds expanding and seeing more tiny glimpses of their pasts. So I hope my wonderful American readers have a great Thanksgiving and I will see you next week for the next episode!

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

Uncovering The Lost Missions: The Rise Of Clovis

I apologize this blog’s late arrival, but dang man does this episode have a lot to talk about! I’ve spent days organizing all my thoughts on this one! I mean, I can write a pretty good-length in-depth blog on a TCW episode that focuses on a battle, but if you want to get my thinker thinking and my thoughts spread out in thousands of words, give me a character-driven, emotionally-focused episode like The Rise Of Clovis! Better make sure you’re comfortable, because you’re probably going to be spending a good chunk of your day reading this one…
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode II, Episode III, Episode VI, the Clone Wars Microseries, TCW episodes Senate Spy, Overlords, The Lawless, Conspiracy, An Old Friend, The Rise Of Clovis

Lost Missions Phototitle 06

So while Anakin, Padme, and Clovis made quite the escape after the craziness on Skipio, the Banking Clan dudes (who I’m now aware are Muuns) are freaking out amongst themselves now that Padme has all their profiteering secrets in the palm of her hand. Though I just can’t help but wonder… is there some unwritten rule that all Muuns have to have goofy-sounding voices? I mean, it’s not something you’d think about just watching Episode II when San Hill talks, but then you go and watch the Clone Wars microseries when Durge was defending them on Muunilist and yeah, they all sound a little funny. And that’s been proved in these last couple of episodes once again. A part of me is snickering at their voices while a part of me reminds me that this is a serious situation… it’s quite a battle, I must say 🙂 So anyway, they’re trying to make sure their plans go unnoticed, and one of them in particular has a brief meeting with none other than Darth Sidious. First the Kaminoans and now the Muuns? Is it just me or is Palpatine weaving a common thread of treachery in this season? The Muun dude’s a bit concerned about this situation at hand with the Senator’s escape, but Sidious reassures him that the Muuns aren’t in any kind of trouble and that he’ll be fine… or so he says.
Meanwhile, our heroes just got off the ship back on Coruscant to Yoda’s greeting. “Adventures on Skipio, have you had?” ohhh Yoda you don’t know the half of it. Evidently, they’ve all met, including Yoda and Clovis… one has to wonder how and when that happened, but eh, it might not be anything special, perhaps they were both in line at Starbucks or something. But Yoda came out to meet them mainly because Palpatine was to have a meeting concerning the whole Banking Clan debacle.
As soon as we get into the meeting, it’s clear that Rush Clovis is no fan favorite simply by the words of Bail Organa “EXCUUUUUSE ME IF I DON’T TRUST HIM AFTER WHAT HE DID!”. And I’m guessing that everyone else there’s probably thinking similarly. Clovis tries to calm the waters and again tries to make it clear he’s a changed man and he’s got serious dirt on this huge-deal situation. Even Padme shows her sliver of support (though as expected, Anakin’s kinda on Bail’s side of the matter). He sounds pretty sincere in all of it, though… I suppose we’ll have to see whether or not a Nexu can changes its stripes (see what I did there?? 😀 ) Ultimately though, Palpatine in his always-convincing manner decides that they should cut Clovis some slack and assigns him and Padme to the case once more. And at the words “Clovis and Padme must work closely…”, you can just see Anakin flinch just the slightest (Anyone else wondering if Palpatine’s trying to make Anakin freak out? Either way, he’s doing a pretty good job). As everyone departs from the meeting, Anakin singles his significant other out of the crowd in 1.2 seconds and totally blows up “WHY DID YOU AGREE TO WORK WITH HIM?!”. It’s getting kind of sad how many times Padme has to tell him “I’m not into Clovis, I’m just trying to do the right thing!” as of late. And then Anakin does what no smart husband would ever do… he “suggests” she bail out, no, he demands she do so! I’m all “oh no he didn’t!” and Padme probably would’ve too if it weren’t for the fact she was trying to avoid unwanted attention, instead she attempts to re-remind Anakin what an important thing trust is between them, only for Clovis to awkwardly interrupt. Aw man, how long was he standing there?? So now Anakin looks like the bad guy in all of this, still going all “mother hen” on Padme. I had thought about something interesting in all of this, he wasn’t nearly this crazy back in Season 2’s Senate Spy. Yes, he was a bit edgy, and yes, he was both not a fan of Clovis and concerned for Padme’s safety, but he certainly didn’t go to this level of angriness and jealousness, at least, he didn’t seem to. I think that it partially has to do with the fact that Anakin’s not as in control as he was back when all he had to do was tip the ship and lock them down a distance apart. Now, that little control freak side of him is grappling for something to hold on to in his mission to protect Padme, and ironically she’s in less danger this time around. That, and well… ever since some time in Season 3, Anakin’s gotten a bit more tense, a bit more trigger-hair, a bit more scary when he gets mad… slowly but surely coming up to where it all accumulates in Episode III. Plus, Padme’s fake flirting probably never sat well with Anakin, even with it being fake (like perhaps the hug she gave Clovis to keep him from noticing Anakin). A part of him stillllll worries… *sigh*. Get it together, man! So Padme shoots Anakin a “This conversation isn’t over” look and heads off with Clovis to get to work. Meanwhile, Dooku and Sidious conjure up a little plan that could potentially get Clovis back on their side of the game…
All while that drama was ensuing, Anakin found solace in his Jedi quarters, doing some metalwork. It reminded me of the bit from Jude Watson’s Jedi Quest #1, about how Anakin still enjoyed working with machines because it let him fix something in a world where not everything can be fixed. Makes complete sense in the midst of this difficult situation. I have to wonder what he’s actually fixing up, though… looks kinda like a droid, maybe? Oh can we talk about the fact that we get to see Anakin’s quarters? It’s super cool for me, as I’ve never really seen them in great detail before. I mean, the attention to detail is fascinating!! The podracer posters on the walls, the little model ships, the large accumulation of metal junk! It takes us back to Anakin’s roots! I think we’ve seen other Jedi’s quarters before, but I can’t remember for certain, but even if we did, they didn’t have a lot of character. Comparably, Anakin’s room looks a whole lot like his bedroom on Tatooine, and gives you a look into his interests aside from peacekeeping and war general-ing; it actually looks like a normal bedroom with loads of personality!
Anyway, as Anakin was blowtorching, Obi-Wan came in. To which I’m like “YAY it’s been so long since we’ve had actual conversation with him!”. And he’s sorta awkwardly wondering if Anakin’s okay… and awkwardly brings up “Yoda was sensing something wrong with you and I kinda am too… and it sorta seems like it has something to do with Clovis… what’s up, bro?”. Naturally Anakin’s all “It’s all cool, just worried about him being a bad guy and junk. And Senator Amidala nearly, you know, died and stuff last time they hung out.”, but Obi-Wan isn’t buying it, after all, this certainly isn’t the first time Padme’d courted danger (um… “courted” was a poor choice of words). And that’s where the lightswitch was flipped for him: Anakin still has a thing for Padme! He probably found it pretty obvious back in Episode II with Anakin’s majorly awkward-schoolboy-crush hello and gundark-nest nerves, and I could see points throughout TCW where he might’ve wondered, but now it’s a lot clearer. I guess this is why it didn’t take too long for him to figure out why Padme wasn’t too keen on giving away Anakin’s location in Episode III. Obi-Wan’s response is not too far from what a parent would say to a tween in distress over their first zit: “Feeling feelings is completely normal! I mean, you know I had a thing for Satine and stuff. Acting on them is the problem.” I was pleasantly surprised to see the Duchess get brought up again. While The Lawless got wrapped up well ultimately, I couldn’t help but wonder how Obi-Wan made peace with her passing in the interim. Maybe I’m crazy, but when I look at his face at that moment, I’m not sure that Obi-Wan’s passive mentioning of their “thing” is totally “past-tense”… good ol’ Obi-Wan, always trying to be the best Jedi he can be, even at expense of his own emotions. But at risk of me spending another long paragraph on this subject, I’ll save other thoughts on them for other posts and we’ll get back to the situation at hand. Because as we know, Obi-Wan doesn’t do the “hate” thing like Anakin more-or-less does. Anakin responds the way most people do at that kind of assumption: “WE’RE JUST FRIENDS.” and Obi-Wan’s all “Uh huh. Well, then you shouldn’t have any problem turning the jealousy train around back to station”. I love this scene to pieces because it shows just how great Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship is, that they (or at least Master Kenobi) can be honest about stuff, even sticky areas like this. Of course, Anakin sorta still chalks it up to wanting to protect the Senator, while we know that he probably didn’t get much out of the conversation, especially knowing how this episode ends.
On the other side of things, awkward moments continue to dominate as Padme and Clovis get down to business… sort of. Apparently, the two just got back from the opera (again, something I would’ve never imagined to exist in the SW universe), and it was not Padme’s idea to have gone in the first place. We meet up with them at her place, making a nice meal between friends while they continue to dig deeper into the conspiracy. They get to talking a bit, recalling their own series of adventures in SW-ian politics, as we see Clovis not-so-subtlely attempt to slip his arm around her (Ugh he has it so so bad for her). Padme stands up and quickly changes the subject and asks her just-friend how he got involved with the Muuns to start with. Turns out, as he explains, his family worked for them and later, when he was orphaned, he was practically adopted by them. One has to wonder… if he spent his tween and teen years with the Muuns, how did that even go? Middle school and high school are a time when everyone’s concerned about how they look and who they are, and when you’re the only kid in school with hair and without a crazy lanky frame and tiny eyes, that must’ve been extremely awkward. Yeesh. No wonder he must’ve liked Padme from the get-go as young politicians, he probably had almost forgotten what a human girl looked like! Haha. Unfortunately their moment of honesty is broken up by Clovis again trying a bit too hard. Padme’s not cool with it. And thennnn Clovis voices something I figured he never bring up: “Waaaaait are you into that Jedi or something? Aren’t Jedi not supposed to be romantically involved with anyone or risk getting kicked out of the Order?” I remember when they first showed a fragment of this episode in the trailer for Season 5 (even though it turned out not to be in Season 5), and the theory I put together was that Anakin accidentally revealed his and Padme’s relationship to Clovis and he (assumptively still a big-time Seppie) in turn had major dirt on them that he could reveal to the big shots, risking everything about their well-kept secret. As I learned, that was slightly off, but he still sorta figured it out. And to that, Padme’s all “We’re just friends! Seriously, you shouldn’t just assume.” which, oh gosh… Clovis sees as an opportunity to make a move. Now, I’m sure that Padme could’ve handled herself and pulled out her blaster on him again, but seconds before that potential kiss could’ve happened, ANAKIN WALKED IN. Of course, I can’t help but wonder why Anakin was coming over in the first place. Was he coming over to potentially patch things up between the two of them? Was he bringing her coffee as a sweet little “heard you were working late” gift? Did he leave his cloak in the closet again? Well, whatever it was, Anakin forgot about it and turned his focus to his evident rival and Force-choked and Force-threw the Separatist prettyboy against the wall. Clovis isn’t one to be intimidated, though, and incites a little hands-on no-Force, no-Lightsaber fistfight. Clovis is pretty good, but nobody told him that Anakin has a robotic arm and has a major advantage. All light description aside, this fight is seriously kind of terrifying; Anakin is seriously dangerous in this fight, and he is in no way holding back, even as Padme keeps yelling at them to knock it off. Until in a sudden moment of clarity, Anakin realizes what he just did. I’ve enjoyed seeing the light, fun, chill, not-angsty side of Anakin in the TCW series, so it always knocks me for a loop when the dark, not-fun, scary, beyond-just-angst-this-is-anger side of him shows up in the later seasons, and the connection between this CG Anakin and the Episode III Hayden Christiansen Anakin becomes clear. It’s not a bad thing, really, it’s just an often harsh reminder of what is to come; without darkness, the light doesn’t shine as brightly, shall we say. So anyway, Captain Typho heard some of the scuffle and came with the guards to find out what happened. Now, as Clovis is on his knees all black and blue, he had total right to oust Anakin in this situation, but he did a rather honorable thing and said “Some hired attacker came in and did this, if it weren’t for General Skywalker, I’d probably be a lot worse off”. And Anakin, kinda shocked at Clovis covering him, agrees to that statement as the guards help Clovis to a medical droid. Without notice from anyone else, Anakin gives her this “OMGosh I’m so sorry” look and Padme gives him this “You’re so sleeping on the couch tonight!” glare. And it only goes downhill from here…
Clovis turned out to be pretty much OK, but he was in for yet another surprise this evening — his med droid doc turned out to work for Count Dooku, and the Count gave him a call. Now this always gets me wondering… why a medical droid? Of all the medical droids in the vicinity, how was it just this particular one? And how would Dooku have known Clovis would need a medical droid? My theory is that there was a hired attacker involved, but by the time he parked outside the window, he caught a glimpse of Anakin and Clovis’ scuffle and was all “Nuts! That guy beat me to the punch! Eh at least I’ll still get paid…”. However it happened, Dooku was here talking to him. Dooku offered him a new job opportunity as the new head of the banks, and at first Clovis is all “No way! I know you Seps haven’t been handling money right!” but Dooku knows how to convince, and before he knew it, Clovis had a new position. And that could either be really good or really bad ultimately… and I’ve got a bad feeling it’s the latter.
So as for Anakin and Padme, there was more than a little tension between them. Anakin finally realizes he’s gone too far with the whole situation and he’s sorrier than sorry about it. He apologizes profusely even before he questions what he thought he saw, to which again Padme repeats herself “NOTHING. HAPPENED. HE’S. JUST. A. FRIEND.”. While Anakin hasn’t been a shining example of goodness or anything lately, I still can’t help but feel sorry for him somehow. I’m reminded much of the part in the episode Overlords where Anakin has a vision of his mom and he confesses to her how much he feels like he’s failed his mom and how much he wants to protect his wife. While we know that that wasn’t really Shmi, she only spoke the truth, that Anakin’s overprotectiveness and determination to keep her alive “isn’t love”. Of course, we know Anakin has attachment issues, but he wouldn’t really get it until the day he’d save Luke and in turn Luke would save him. But before I get on to a really long paragraph on my thoughts on the “love vs. attachment” thing, let’s get back to the story. Padme’s crazy frustrated with the whole thing, and she just sorta breaks down and says “Look, if we can’t have trust in the midst of this already living-a-lie marriage…” I shuddered to hear the next part, “…we shouldn’t see each other anymore, at least not for a while” O.O I never thought I’d see the day when the kinda most important couple in the entire Prequel Trilogy would break up! And it’s really bad considering they’re married and they’re breaking up! Even if it is temporary it’s still sad! Aughhh!! 😥 Yet in Episode III they’re all lovey-dovey and cute and nothing’s wrong (at least not until Anakin goes all dark side on us)! So that was that… Padme goes off to have a good cry and Anakin drives off in his starfighter wondering what the heck just happened.
The next day, Clovis seems to have brought the bad guy Muuns to justice and steps up in front of the Senate to potentially be the new head of the banks. He’s met by quite an angry crowd, but with Padme’s support, somehow the vote ends up going to him in the end (Though Bail still isn’t convinced, no vote from him…). And Anakin can only watch in the background, looking a little lost, and watching this guy he still doesn’t trust majorly win with help from the wife he still loves. After the meeting, Anakin turns to Palpatine for a little counsel, and the Chancellor admits that, evidently, he’s doesn’t entirely trust Clovis either. Palpatine encourages Anakin that the two of them just continue keeping an eye out… but we can only imagine what the guy has planned that neither Anakin nor Padme and not even Clovis know about…
*Whew* I’m finally done! But it was pretty fun to write this one, considering what a great episode it is! I suppose we can only wait and see what will happen next in all this craziness, because I’m quite aware that all these Uncovering blogs are ending on intriguing terms. But until next time…

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

What Would Go Into a Star Wars Haunted House…

So Halloween’s tomorrow, and of course I’m excited! I think the majority of us Star Wars fans are. Candy, kids (I love door-greeting), and costumes! (Oh, and pretty much anything to do with pumpkins) Some of my favorite things year-round are center stage this time of year! Now I’ll be honest… I don’t care too much for the “spooky” side of Halloween; I mean, I really don’t care for horror movies and gore, is that so weird? I’m scared enough by some of the yard decorations people put up. But I do like parodies and “fun-spooky” stuff, if that makes any sense. Let’s just say I like movies best when good guys win and bad guys don’t terrify me to the point of covering my eyes. And as you all know, I love the SW movies and shows. So… how is it I could come up with a whole post’s worth of ideas for a Star Warsian Haunted House?
Well, part of the reason is thanks to my cousin’s boyfriend, who is a master at scaring people and runs haunted houses every so often. Oh, the hilarious stories he’s told of making grown men cry… XD So that’s partially inspired me here. Plus, there are situations, creatures, people, and places that would make any of us scream and freak out if we were there in our heroes’ shoes. I mean, when I watch Episode II, I delight in watching Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme taking on those monsters on Geonosis. But if I were there? The nexu would’ve killed me in about three seconds (I’m in decent shape, but I am not a fast runner), if it hadn’t, I would’ve been screaming the whole time. But that’s why they’re the Jedi and the super-strong politician and I’m not. And hey, now that Disney own Lucasfilm, maybe they could do something like this for their Halloween festivities at the parks! So I’ve taken the time to visualize what a super-cool, super-creepy, and super-fun SW Haunted House would look like! My recommendation is to turn the lights on if you haven’t already, because it’s about to get spooky up in here… O.O
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode I, Episode II, Episode III, Episode IV, Episode V, Episode VI, and the Clone Wars episodes Lair of Grievous, Cat And Mouse, Legacy of Terror, Brain Invaders, and Witches Of The Mist.
So imagine this: you walk in, and it’s dark and dusty…
It’s Palpatine’s office. As you all know, it has big windows, very red, contemporary-ish. A lot of SW heroes have walked in there, not knowing the horrific truth of the old man in the big chair… but no one’s been in here for like, ever. And the lights are long gone, with only the flickering lights of Coruscant traffic to see by. If some form of spiders exist in the SW Universe, they’ve probably weaved their webs all over the place (Admiral Trench, perhaps? :lol:). Perhaps the window’s still broken from where a long-ago struggle took place? You feel a chill, but you’re not sure if it’s the wind coming through the hole in the window or if it’s your own fear…
You tell yourself that there’s nothing to be afraid of, and you decide to walk (ratherly quickly) down a strange hallway that you, as the SW superfan you are, know was never there… and you walk right smack into a freaky statue, hidden in the shadows. Of some gaunt-looking alien. In fact, there are a lot of these statues. You wince at this, seeing that the fellow wasn’t the most friendly or jovial sort. But then you see… a bunch of masks. Old, dusty, still untouched for the most part… and the strange thing could only belong to GENERAL GRIEVOUS! As soon as you realize that somehow you’ve wandered into Grievous’ lair, you want to get out. Was that an old dismembered robotic hand of his laying in the foyer, one he lost when Kit Fisto had entered in? Sheesh, the kaladeesh could’ve stood to clean up around here. But you, having seen the TCW episode Lair Of Grievous, know that there’s a trapdoor somewhere around here, and you do NOT want to fall down it. So now you’re torn between running for your life or walking carefully to avoid said trap. You have a seriously bad feeling about this… but all the same…
YOU RUN.
After running for a bit, trying to find an exit, the ground suddenly falls out from under you. You fear the worst, that a boiling red pit awaits you. Oh, but it is so much worse…
You’ve suddenly fallen into the Death Star trash compactor.
The very thing that gave SW fans everywhere clastrophobia. It’s old, untouched, and not moving. But aside from the fact it smells more rank than usual, you flinch at the slightest creaking sound. And oh yeahhhh there might be… something… in the sludgy water. It’s dark; you can’t see anything up there, so against your better judgement, you hold your breath and dive under, hoping a vicious dianoga doesn’t await you.
Down there, the water seems strangely clearer; still murky, but it doesn’t seem to be trashy and gross. But that’s the problem… there’s always a bigger fish. All around you in the shadowy, dark water, you don’t need Jedi powers to sense that something, or some THINGS are swimming around you.
Liiiiiike maybe some of those infamous Naboo water creatures? Was that the tail of a sando? It takes you about three seconds to swim to the surface. And once you’re able to breathe again, you realize you’re not in the trash compactor anymore.
You’re in one of Jabba’s Palace dungeons. Ohhhh noes…
It’s old and musty, and nothing seems to be in there. Except perhaps, the large rodent-like things creeping around the walls, squeaking an unearthly squeak that makes your skin crawl. You turn around to where a sliver of light has fallen and you see something small and green and round… OMG THAT IS A GEONOSIAN BRAIN WORM EGG. The knowledgable SW fan you are can’t comprehend as to why the dungeon has brain worm eggs in it, but your body’s fight-or-flight response could care less. You start looking around everywhere for an exit, for the source of the light, for something… as one of the worms cracks out of its shell.
It was then you see that the sliver of light was coming from an small opening near the floor, perhaps where guards poked through prisoner’s food. You desperately try to fit through, but it’s too small. However, somewhere, wedged in that old thing is a rusty key. You jam that sucker in the gate’s lock faster than you can say “that is one ugly bug” and make a run for it down yet another hallway. And you start thinking “why are there so many stinkin’ hallways??” But dude, it’s a haunted house. What do you expect?
And the hallways naturally have creepy crawlies crawling about. Your foot squishes in something; you tell yourself to not look. You keep running. You trip over something. And yeah, it’s something, or somebody’s bone. This place may be deserted, but you aren’t alone… it must be huge. Rancor? Acklay? Wampa?
Out of nowhere, a blood-curdling shriek rips out as a mynock on the dungeon wall jumps out at you! And there’s no glass between you this time! Again, you get up and run. Spooked by the critter, but knowing that mynocks are hardly the most dangerous creatures, you feel a little better. You finally see the hallway open up.
At first glance, it seems just like a normal old room. But as a small light reveals, this is an old, crashed ship of some sort. As you look closer… it’s the ruins of an AT-AT. You can’t make all the details out, but there might be some dead stormtroopers lying around, and that’s quite enough evidence for you. Huh. For as long as you’d been a SW fan you’d always wanted to see the inside of an AT-AT… now all you want to do is get out as you check behind you for any more creepy creatures.
You finally find an opening, and once you’ve squeezed your way out of the old machine’s exit, you think it’s all over, and a part of you’s like “I think I want to go in that haunted house again!” But then you realize that everything is really, really red. You have walked out of that All-Terrain Armored Transport into Dathomir. You turn your head over an inch and choke back a scream; it’s one of those pods where the zombie Nightsisters come out of!! You soon realize it’s empty, and that’s because… THERE’S ONE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!
You let loose a scream. If you’re a guy, it’s embarrassingly girly.
Then you realize that the zombie happens to be dead still. just happened to have been stuck in that old tree behind you. Or at leas, it seems to be dead. But you don’t stick around to find out.
Again, you run. You find what looks to be an old crashed Republic Cruiser. You get on, only to suddenly find yourself, well, not on a ship of any sort, but back in Palpatine’s office.
Do you choose to vamoose out of the Haunted House entirely, or do you choose to go try a new hallway?
I’ll leave that up to you. Where you go next is your choice. If you could build anything into a SW Haunted House? What would you choose?
Oh, and a quick word of advice…
Star Wars eCard: Beware of Dianogas...

Keep The Peace and Have a Star-Wars-tacular Halloween!
– Twilight