Rebel Transmissions: Idiot’s Array

Hello, what have we here? Another Rebel Transmission! And if you’re wondering why I’m talking like Lando Calrissian… please stop reading this, go and watch this episode, and then come back. Because yeah this awesome episode involves everyone’s favorite old smoothie! No not Han… though that would make sense since Lando called him an “old smoothie”, but in this case I’m referring to Lando! If I were referring to Han I’d be calling him “everyone’s favorite scoundrel” or “everyone’s favorite nerf herder” or something of that sort. Wow I am just chatty as a bird today aren’t I? Just excited! After a handful of emotionally-stirring, heartstring-tugging, tear-shedding episodes, Idiot’s Array brings us back to the more lighthearted side of the show with all the Ghost fam’! So let’s get started shall we?
NOTE: Contains spoilers from Episode III, Episode IV, Episode V, Episode VI, Zorba The Hutt’s Revenge, and Rebels episodes Empire Day, Path Of The Jedi, and Idiot’s Array.

We start off at a familiar old joint, the same we saw back in Empire Day. Though we get to see it from the outside… and it literally has a Republic gunship built into it! Seriously it never ceases to wow me when I see those subtle ties to the world fifteen years past. Kanan was here, asking the Ithorian barkeep for some potential work. While Zeb plays Sabacc with a couple of strangers. Somehow just knowing it’s Sabacc immediately makes me think “Zeb’s gonna lose”. Between incidents involving the Falcon, and in one of Paul and Hollace Davids’ books, Cloud City’s casinos, it seems that there’s a hit-or-miss ratio in this game… and Lando was the loser in both the ones I mentioned! But yeah I love how well they concealed Lando’s presence. If not for all the footage of him going around prior to the episode’s debut I probably wouldn’tve picked up on it either! But yeah even Chopper knows this won’t end well, as he bangs his dome against the table. Seriously is it just me or does Chopper get more entertaining to watch each episode? 😀 As far as the “job hunt”? Old Jho redirects Kanan to the gentleman at the Sabacc table, who might be looking for a pilot. Once Kanan gets over there… it seems that Zeb might’ve bet Chopper in their little game. Kanan objects for ten seconds before seeing that there’s seemingly no way Zeb could lose. And those of us in the audience immediately mutter “I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”, because again, the hit-or-miss ratio in this game. It can’t be that easy, right? Chopper’s clearly saying “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!” XD But yeah Chopper and all of us are right. The only thing that can trump a “sabacc” is an “idiot’s array”. And Chopper goes and bangs his dome again. So the winner and apparently Chop’s new owner is… Lando Calrissian! YUS this guyyy!! Once I first heard that he was going to be in the next episode and saw his Rebels look, I exploded in fangirliness. I mean, it’s been great having Billy Dee Williams himself playing Lando for the Lego world (in both The Yoda Chronicles and The Lego Movie), but there’s definitely something just amazing about seeing him in the amazing animation and awesome visual style in Rebels. That first cocky expression he makes…! I about died squee-ing! This episode reminded me why I love this guy so much. Ahhhh I need to watch Empire Strikes Back now!! *Ahem* so anyway… yeah the guys are in troooooooublllllle…
So you know something’s wrong when Chopper comes in griping, Zeb says “I can explain…”, and the three are joined by an uninvited new guy. Kanan introduces him to the others, letting them know they’re intending to help him get past the Imperial blockade. Hera picks up pretty fast that something’s up, but that’s just what she do. And once Lando mentions that he’ll be returning their droid along with their payment, Hera is not happy. We’re talking using-Zeb’s-full-name not happy. And when Zeb throws the blame back to Kanan… she literally goes and slugs him in the arm. Yup this is why we don’t cross Captain Syndulla. Hehe I love how Kanan shrugs like “hey that’s just Hera for you, whatcha gonna do?” XD So now the Ghost crew doesn’t have much choice in helping out Mr. Calrissian. Off they go…!
And they haven’t gotten far before Lando interjects some of his charm into the conversation… ermargosh the way he sorta compliments Hera’s piloting skills and the way she rolls it off…! Priceless. So much priceless. Gotta love that swag, am I right? OK Hera’s not loving it, and Kanan shoots quite the look of disapproval in his direction. Chopper seems to be enjoying himself a bit, though, ’cause now that he’s Lando’s droid, he doesn’t have to take orders from the Ghost crew anymore. So Lando takes advantage of this and asks Chop for a tour, which the little booger does without question. Ah ironyyyy. And THEN he brings him coffee! We all know that this was part of the droid’s little plan to take Mr. Calrissian’s fuel in the end, but for a while it seemed that all that charm of his was working on Chopper. Ezra doesn’t seem terribly impressed either. Especially after Lando compliments Sabine’s artwork. Ohhhmergosh… XD He compared it to that of another great anti-Empire artist’s work, but “more stunning”. That’d be like someone telling me my art outdid that of Jason Deamer, or Carter Goodrich, or Killian Plunkett! And this pretty much one-upped any compliment Ezra made on her art because Lando has something to compare it to. Yeah methinks Ezra feels Lando to be too smooth for his own good. And the way Zeb is holding back laughing at the whole scene XD Yes whether you’re Han, or Ezra, or to a lesser extent perhaps Kanan… smoothness is overrated.
So on their way to Lando’s supplier’s place, well… yeah… “You got the goods?” “…Always.” THAT LOOK ON HIS FACE. HERA’S EYEROLL. KANAN’S DISAPPROVING GLARE. CAN’T. EVEN. OK so anyway, Lando’s got this as he, Hera, and Kanan board. Or so he says. Just sayin’, this ship does have escape pods. And yes behind every swaggy scoundrel is a dude you don’t want to cross paths with. In this case, Azmorigan. Yeahhh… just watching him eat like he does made me immediately check my manners while eating. Props to his voice actor though, who I believe was Chi Fu in Mulan. He’s got what Lando wants… and Lando happens to be offering up a fabulous deal on a TWI’LEK. On HERA. WHUT. And now we’re torn as to whether Calrissian knows what he’s doing or if something’s seriously wrong here. And good question; Lando didn’t know the ship he’d be riding on would have a Twi’lek captain… so what was he originally going to trade? Or was he intending to trade whoever was on board? It’s all a mystery. Anyway, Kanan wasn’t really fond of this deal, but Hera is a bit more savvy that he knows and goes along with it. It’s definitely interesting watching this. When they were introducing the Rebels cast for the first time, I loved that the captain was a girl Twi’lek, mainly because, well, who was the first girl Twi’lek in Star Wars? Oola, the unfortunate dancer who got eaten by the rancor. It’s a completely common sight in the SW universe, seeing Twi’lek ladies in seedy places. Hera’s far from that, and is a self-reliant, caring, strong individual who doesn’t take crud from anyone. So yeesh it must’ve been weird for her to suddenly kinda play the role of the naive slave girl. She may play her voice a little bit softer, but the looks she’s shooting Lando’s way are not too sweet. And so, Kanan and Lando return back to the Ghost without their captain. Lando’s chill with it, as he believes Hera will stick to the plan. The “plan” being the one he vaguely hinted at earlier. Kanan is so not happy right now. First Chopper, and now Hera! Greaaaaat. And what was it that Lando was willing to trade for Hera for? He calls it “sophisticated mining equipment”, and tells Zeb and Ezra not to startle it. Real smart. Leave a box with something mysterious inside alone with these two. Honestly Lando you have no one to blame but yourself for what happens later.
Sooo how’s Hera enjoying the new master? Not so much. Azmorigan’s not as bad as Jabba… but he’s not really much better either. I did find it funny how much he really digs into that fruit, and then two seconds later throws the thing over his shoulder like trash. Thankfully he’s more into his food than his Twi’lek right now, ’cause Hera’s sticking to her own plan. Yup, it’s amazing what a food tray can do! Along with a little sweet-talking, you can do pretty much anything… or at least escape from this punk’s ship. Hehe I’m getting all these Indiana Jones vibes right now… 🙂 Like a boss, Captain Syndulla. Like. a. boss.
And right on schedule, Lando spots the escape pod Hera took. “…You really should have more faith in our captain,” “Our captain?”. Might Kanan be a little jelly? I’m sure he’d deny it if you asked him. So Hera made it off that pod and back on board without any problem. Though Lando did not quite expect the greeting he got from her… dang that must’ve hurt. And did anyone pick up on the way his voice kinda went up a couple of octaves after that blow? Yeah, now you know even more why we don’t cross the captain. Oh and new problem: Imperial blockade. Hera asks him what exactly he was smuggling that was so important, and it seems Zeb and Ezra have already discovered that for themselves. A chubby little critter that soon reveals itself to be a puffer pig. It makes Ezra and Zeb give chase and gets looks from everyone else. Oh, and the whole frightening experience may have triggered the whole “puffer” part of “puffer pig”… it expands. A lot. Like the whole hallway’s width. Kanan won’t even ask. I have to say the puffer pig might be one of my fave SW critters now. Right up there with tauntauns, monkey-lizards, mookas, whatever Boga is, and a bunch of others I don’t know the name of. She’s quite the adorable little piggy isn’t she? Also, she’s the perfect mining tool, a digger with a nose for precious minerals. And something that would go undetected by radar after the last mining-equipment-smuggling job he pulled here. But to make sure the Imperials don’t pick up on who they are, Lando sends out Chopper to fix that cloaking device. And again, Chopper is a good little droid and does just that. The Ghost was about to get through with flying colors… and then Ezra overheard Lando asking about purchasing some of Sabine’s art. You’d think a twentysomething smuggler wouldn’t be worth worrying about at his age, but Ezra is willing to climb over an inflated puffer pig to give Lando some choice words. But then Ezra stepped on the pig’s head, startled it again, made it expand again (while plastering young Bridger onto the roof), and the force threw Zeb into the control panel, turning off their cloaking. Much facepalm. And onward cometh the TIEs! With Miss Puffer Piggy blocking the door, it’s just Zeb and Kanan at the controls, trying to figure out how to fly and shoot at the same time. It’s a bit of a challenge until Hera brilliantly suggests to take a turn into the clouds, which ultimately steers the team to victory!
Finally the Ghost touches back down on Lothal at Lando’s little neck of the woods. But so much for getting paid and hitting the road, because… yup, Azmorigan showed up. With bodyguards. And guns. And he wants his pig and his Twi’lek back. Oh, and to “bury Calrissian”. Yeah let’s just say the negotiations were short. Really short. ‘Cause before you know it Azmorigan’s shooting all over the place and his men are shooting all over the place. In the midst of the battle, Ezra pulls out his new ‘saber… except that he’s using it to shoot energy blasts. I love Kanan’s response; “Wait… mine doesn’t do that!” XD XD Good point, do you think any Jedi has ever had a multi-use lightsaber like that before? Like, in the way that it shoots and ‘sabers? I don’t know, but it couldn’t be more perfect for him. After all, now he can carry his lightsaber for when he needs it without arousing Imperial suspicion and still be able to fight baddies when need be! Maybe he should offer to built these extensions onto the lightsabers of other surviving Jedi, that’d be cool. Though considering Obi-Wan’s doesn’t have one I guess it didn’t catch on. Though our team does have a secret weapon — the pig. After Zeb scares the poor thing again, Miss Puffer Piggy inflates and actually bounces like an oversized balloon into the paths of Azmorigan’s gunmen. Zeb gives the expression that seems to say “What… just happened?” and Sabine’s all “IDK but I’m just gonna roll with it”. And all the while, Chopper is bent on getting this fuel tank into the Ghost. But then alas… Azmorigan has Zeb at gunpoint and makes a deal: Lando for Zeb and all their freedom. Kanan and Ezra don’t bat an eyelash and agree to this. But Hera has other plans. Because guess who was at the guns inside the Ghost? Chopper! Yeah Azmorigan and his goons were outta there in a hurry.
Ultimately, it seems things went… mostly well. The payment Lando intended to give them was to take place after his pig found something of value. So the most they got out of this deal was Chop back. Hera makes it clear that Lando still owes her big-time. But Mr. Calrissian still brushes it off in the cool and confident way he does. He promises Chopper they’ll meet again… and I say “YESYESYESYES!!” to that, though our heroes may have some differing opinions on that matter 🙂 But in the end, it did give the gang a greater appreciation of their faithful droid and their faithful captain. Hurhur Ezra doesn’t miss a beat though “I always appreciated you, Sabine” “Yes Ezra I know…” XD And Chopper stole Lando’s fuel. So the crew’s got what they need to fight another day. Woot teamwork! But turns out that Lando had fully intended for them to take the fuel as payment. Aw, you ol’ smoothie 😀
So that was awesome. Seriously seriously awesome! I thank you all for joining me on this fabRebelous journey through Idiot’s Array (sorry terrible pun I will never do it again *crosses fingers*). So until we meet again, Star Wars fans!

Keep The Peace,
– Twilight

Advertisements